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ignotism
★ levi ★
Artist | Varied
United States
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and i will learn by studying the lessons in my dreams

My icon was gifted to me by Chaosiies
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so why am i
an unstrung guitar
snapped from the tension of
everything
& nothing &
the way you look at me like i am
something beautiful one moment
& forgettable the next

(hint: i am both.)


/  /  /

i have realized
a lover is just someone
to watch you cum
& watch you die &
lately there doesn't seem to be much
of a difference.

it takes everything anymore to say
"i love you"
it takes everything to make myself believe
i mean it

/  /  /

so why am i
an unstrung guitar,
perfectly capable of making music
but unable to do it myself

maybe because you played me
until i snapped

/  /  /

so why am i
unwound
but not unwounded
unwound
i wrote this while listening to mitski.

lately i don't write anymore because i've been drawing more.

lately i think about how much i want to goto art school, but instead i write shitty poetry, put on some soft indie and wish i was a different person.
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10:01 PM

i want to be a kaleidoscope.

i want anyone to roll me between their fingers
and still see the same shards
of pink and yellow and blue--
beautiful at any angle

10:06 PM

you picked me up
seeing only what you wanted
and emptied me of every color i knew.

no one wants to admire
a hollowed tube,
hues all spilled out
and stolen

10:37 PM

you bought an AR-15 on the fourth of july
and i watched fireworks,
imagining that every boom and pop
was a bullet
opening up my chest.

10:38 PM

it gets old living the same fears
everyday.

11:02 PM

my life is a gift that i want to return.

i want to be the cotton candy smoke
after fireworks.

i don't want to be this
paranoia, this goosebumped skin
that you have touched.

11:49 PM

i'll never call myself "survivor".
i'll never reduce myself to only that.

so i look up at the fireworks,
the radio on to cancel the noise.

i only see, now,
drowning you out,
colors kaleidoscopic
above me
like the skin
i will grow into
someday.

i see myself in the sky.

12:02 AM

the air of the aftermath says hello
because i'm ukulele-playing indie trash

soundcloud.com/user-481892039/…
because i'm ukulele-playing indie trash

soundcloud.com/user-481892039/…

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    Donated Aug 10, 2014, 3:54:02 PM
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:iconlandobaldur:
landobaldur Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2016  Professional General Artist
greetings from one creative mind to another
Reply
:iconignotism:
ignotism Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2016   General Artist
greetings!
Reply
:iconaway-with-knives:
aWay-with-knives Featured By Owner May 6, 2016  Student General Artist
Reply
:iconaway-with-knives:
aWay-with-knives Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2016  Student General Artist
Reply
:iconscribalwriter:
ScribalWriter Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2016   Traditional Artist
Thank you very much for the :+fav:, Alyssa! :heart:
Reply
:iconaway-with-knives:
aWay-with-knives Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2016  Student General Artist
Reply
:iconignotism:
ignotism Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2016   General Artist
too real
Reply
:iconaway-with-knives:
aWay-with-knives Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2016  Student General Artist
yoda's glasses falling off is my favourite part
Reply
:iconfeathers01:
Feathers01 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Happy birthday!
Reply
:iconunluckyamulet:
UnluckyAmulet Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday~!
Reply
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